YOU DID WHAT?
Do You Remember That Time When You:
Were having trouble keeping up with a highly agitated Army General who was carrying YOUR luggage for you in an airport in Frankfurt, Germany
Played racquetball with mob bosses
Waved at the Pope in Vatican City
Served proudly in the Army
Served proudly in the Navy
Served proudly in the Air Force
Married a beauty queen
Paid for your college tuition with the money you made playing Spades with the Marines on your ship
Swished a three-point basket while standing next to NBA Hall of Famer Larry Bird on the famous Boston Garden parquet floor
Sailed in a naval landing craft with bullets raining down from a beach in Beirut, Lebanon
Showed thousands of people how to make mud disappear right before their eyes
Jumped out of a perfectly good airplane
Made a touchdown saving tackle in the final minute helping to seal the win in the district championship
Pointed a shotgun inches from the forehead of your ship's Captain
Were a state legislature employee when you were only ten years old
Enjoyed voyages to eighteen foreign countries
Won 23 boxing matches in a row to start your career
Paid for your food and supplies with Euros, Pounds, Pesos, Guilders, Shillings and Deutschmarks
Wrote two baseball books that are part of the Library at the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown
Smashed a Hall of Fame pitcher's 100-mile-per-hour fastball right over his head and into center field
Contemplated suicide far too many times
Got kissed and hugged on stage by rock star Suzi Quatro during an Alice Cooper concert
Accidentally burned down your own house
Ran a bodyguard service while in high school
Witnessed a switchblade versus straight razor battle between two sailors on the very first night on your new ship
Could read before you went to Kindergarten
Served as the Squad Leader for a Nuclear Reactor team
Lived homeless under a bridge in Las Vegas
Pinned a three-time defending State Champion wrestler who had a career record of 98-1 prior to the match
Were selected to an elite detail to personally protect the Queen upon her visit to the US
Were a pioneer in the Debt Management industry
Filled dozens of tractor-trailers with food for the needy
Were invited to a tryout for the Kansas City Royals
Opened your front door at three o'clock in the morning and saw three policemen mistakenly prepared to put you in handcuffs
Lived in sixteen states
Set a college basketball record that will never be broken
Taught Negotiation and Broadcast Management courses
Stood at Attention while an Admiral pinned a Navy Achievement Medal on your chest and the entire crew saluted while they raised the flag in your honor
Formed your first corporation
Visited forty-five states
Boxed in the Main Event in front of the Secretary of the Navy and the Commandant of the Marine Corps during the Bicentennial Celebration in 1976
Broadcast your first baseball game at age 7
Splattered a future Super Bowl MVP as he tried to run past you on a kickoff return in High School
Worked twelve hours a day, seven days a week for months at a time at sea
Were told by a minister that you did not dress well enough to attend his services
Went to Super Bowls, World Series, Stanley Cup Finals and NBA Championships
Heard a doctor tell you that she was going to amputate your right leg
Drove a shiny new Jaguar up and down Las Vegas Boulevard
Played golf with Bob Hope
Ran away from home to watch Mad Dog Vachon face off against the Crusher in the Wharton Field House
Were placed in charge of sixty soldiers in the woods during Survival Exercises
Watched your mother marry a priest
Whacked a home run over a fence and smashed the plate glass window of the pharmacy across the street
Lived in 15 different places in 15 months
Talked to strangers
Grew a beard down to your chest
Were comically body-slammed to the mat by the British Bulldogs tag team when you were a ring announcer for the WWE
Worked as a bellman for a castle resort
Got pneumonia during Boot Camp in San Diego
Sealed your divorce with a kiss
Smashed your dad’s car into a parked car--while you were in high school--and it remains your secret until this day
Caddied on the PGA tour
Got lost in the woods in Maine
Elbowed your Boot Camp Company Commander in the balls and were perfectly justified in doing so
Achieved a 33-golf handicap which clearly indicated that you were one of the worst golfers in town
Shaved your head bald
Got swindled by an elderly woman con artist
Had an unplanned sleepover on a railroad track in Germany
Exposed your kids to the Young Frankenstein movie
Went to see the Grand Canyon for the first time
Walked three thousand miles in one year
Owned residential and commercial properties
Caught your first bluefish
Lived alone
Were put in charge of the whole company on your very first day in Boot Camp as a 17-year-old
Got robbed at knifepoint on two different occasions
Had your father steal your entire military savings while you were serving abroad
Owned and operated a talent agency
Flew across the country with less than a dollar in your pocket
Began making toilet parts in a factory in the Midwest
Witnessed your 11-year-old daughter singing the National Anthem in front of a capacity crowd of ten thousand fans at a baseball game in Florida
Laid on a bed and cried for more than a month
Finished 11th in the New England Long Drive Golf Championship
Saw a friend win the Megabucks lottery right before your eyes
Spearheaded an effort to send Ten Thousand Kids to their first-ever ballgame every year on June 24th
Slept an unscheduled twenty-eight hours in a row
Held hundreds of book signings throughout New England and New York
Purposely slammed your grocery cart into the side of your own car (while you were on a dead sprint) simply to entertain the other customers in the parking lot
Founded your first Real Estate brokerage company
Met the current boyfriend of your former girlfriend while playing cards in a barracks in Spain
Rented a beach from some enterprising residents of Genoa so you and your Navy buddies could play football one Sunday afternoon
Watched your son strike out twelve batters in a row
Won a Bronze Medal in golf at the National Explorer Olympics
Got a kiss from Katy Perry on your front porch and you didn't even know who she was
Won Pinball, Racquetball and Foosball championship trophies
Learned to recite the advantages of using Polypropylene Glycol
Graduated from dozens of courses in Communications and Electronics
Loudly and openly challenged Major League Baseball Commissioners to change their existing TV Blackout policies
Rode on a glass-bottomed boat
Took the rare opportunity to tell all three of your Triple Homicide Stories one right after another
Created and funded Youth Reading Programs
Headed up the Wholesale Division of a swimming pool company
Became the AVON Lady
Partied on Fremont Street for the first time
Unexpectedly saw your wife’s innards during a C-section
Played golf in your bare feet in the Bahamas
Won a poker tournament on your first day in Vegas
Coached a college basketball team
Learned that one out of every three Bipolar patients will commit suicide
Earned 3 college credits called Independent Study--George Carlin
Were rescued after you fell down the side of Mount Etna in Sicily Rang the doorbell with your elbow
Sold millions of dollars’ worth of real estate
Understood the value of your asthma inhaler at a tender young age
Broke the star quarterback’s ankle in a non-sanctioned pick-up game three days before the championship game
Ducked just in the nick of time when your nine-year-old sister accidentally fired a round from a pistol aimed at your head
Were seeded #1 in a City-Wide free throw shooting contest
Spent nine hours laying on a gurney in an Emergency Room hallway
Found out what Geedunk was
Watched Airplane for the first time
Were jumped by a motorcycle gang
Published your first newspaper
Got the heck kicked out of you by two different Catholic nuns--the first time while in Kindergarten, and then as a High School sophomore
Had a doctor tell you that you could only see out of one eye at a time meaning that you would never have any depth perception
Beat the 19-year-old reigning North Carolina High School 200-meter state champion in a 40-yard dash when you were forty years old
Endured eczema so bad that it would make your fingers crack and bleed every day all winter long
Were presented with a beautiful green-and-gold boxing robe with your nickname sewn in great big letters on the back
Saved insurance companies millions of dollars with your investigative skills
Hosted your own television and radio shows
